Never Lost the Game
by TearsLost
Summary: Near had never been out of control. Never lost the game, never miscalculated the puzzle... Until now. Near finds himself victim of an evil plot that is too evil even to be Kira's doing. Who will save him? Can he save himself? Who is his mysterious assailant? Nathan Rivers Near Light Kira L Lawliet Ryusaki Desu Noto Death Note rape character abuse fear pain mystery horror tragedy
1. Chapter 1

There was never a time before this day that Near had ever found himself exerting so much strength. He'd never fought so wildly, and fear had never gripped his being so wholly. He had never been out of control. Never lost the game, never miscalculated the puzzle...

He had never lost a game.

Near's mind played this over and over in a mocking loop as he struggled wildly, feeling ropes coil around his thin wrists and pull his arms to his neck to limit his mobility. The members of the SPK had all just dropped dead, and not a moment after the last head hit the floor with a sickening thud, a man in a mask had entered the room and grabbed Near before he could escape. Near, normally calm and quiet, suddenly blew up in a serious of wild swings and kicks, taking his attacker by surprise only long enough for him to land one good blow before he was overpowered.

Near was blindfolded, and let out a cry of pain when he was kneed in the ribs. Too weary to put up any more fight, he felt himself lifted completely off the floor and thrown over the bony shoulder of his captor, his already sore ribs aching all the more.

Near felt ill by the time he was fully carried from the building, all the blood having rushed to his head. When he was thrown off, he felt so nauseous he could have easily passed out as all the blood flooded back into the rest of his body. He felt rather than heard a loud crack, and let out a little yelp when something came down smartly on his shoulder. He had been hit with some sort of whip, which now hit across his back and spine. Ducking to protect his head, Near flinched every time he heard the whip whistle through the air, and let out a whimper every time he felt a new wound open up across his back.

Near felt himself lifted from the ground and tossed carelessly back down, his head smacking smartly off the hard surface and his shoulder crunching painfully underneath him. Unable to crawl because his hands were tied to his neck to limit his mobility, he scurried away on his knees, trying to get away from his attacker.

He sat in a corner, panting, listening for the sound of the unknown assailant to come after him. But he never heard a sound. He suppressed a yelp of surprise, however, as his face was suddenly grabbed by gloved hands, his hair pulled and his mouth yanked open. Near tried to bite down on the thumbs that held his jaw agape, but something had been shoved in to keep him from closing his mouth.

Pulling away from the hands, Near desperately tried to reach the object that was lodged in his mouth, as it was prying his jaw open far wider than was comfortable. Near froze, his eyes widening under the blindfold as he heard a zipper, his mind frantically searching for what could possibly happen next. He grunted in shock as something big, hard and round was shoved down his throat, making him choke. The object moved back and forth slowly, gagging Near as little tears of pain stung his eyes.

Near choked and gagged, pressed against a rough stone wall as the object pumped faster and harder, and a sickening idea had popped into his mind as to what it was as a hot, sticky substance shot down his throat. It was over no sooner than it had begun, and the object prying Near's jaw open was removed as well. Near flexed his sore jaw, still gagging and coughing out the vile liquid. He had read about things like this happening to unsuspecting victims. He had just never considered that he would ever be one of those victims. What did anyone have to gain by doing this to him? All the other SPK members were dead. He didn't have any information that would be valuable enough to beat out of him. Which meant his captor was more than likely someone other than Kira.

Near felt a soft, odd thing pressed against his lips. He soon concluded that it was perhaps another pair of lips. He had never been kissed before, and so the feeling was unfamiliar to him. Struggling wildly, Near gasped for breath as the lips moved away, letting out a muffled cry when he was kicked in the stomach again. This time, he retched, tears pouring from his eyes and hot, sticky blood pooled down his chin, the metallic taste burning his throat and tongue.

Near struggled again, and only succeeded in aiding his captor as he was pushed to the ground, the man crawling over top of him. No longer concerned about dignity, Near let out a long, piercing scream, flailing wildly in alarm as his pants were pulled hastily down and a strong hand clamped over his mouth. From the feel and smell, Near had earlier concluded that he had been taken to an alleyway just outside the SPK headquarters. He only hoped that some passer-by would hear his screams and perhaps save him.

The man, now frightened of getting caught due to Near's terrified shrieks, pressed more firmly against Near's face, crushing the boy's head against the hard ground.

Near's frantic and wild struggle kicked into third gear when he felt a stab of pain as the man began to thrust angrily in and out.

Near was left a sobbing heap when the man disappeared into the night, all traces of his existence gone except for in Near's memory. The boy had never been broken before. He'd never lost the game.

**A/N: Soooooo what'ya think? Should I continue? All credit for story idea goes to Cerenbus. Snape. Malfoy, who was too chicken to write the story on his own account. XD Love you buddy, thanks for letting me write this awesome story!**

**Also, I don't hate Near. I just like torturing my favorite characters. I think it's some kind of incurable disease. **

**I do character abuse! If you have any requests for what you want to happen to Near next, leave a review, and if you have any characters from other shows, just message me!**


	2. Chapter 2

Near was lonely. He hurt. He didn't want to hurt. He wanted to push it all away and return to being his calm, collected self. Why could he not regain the control he had once possessed? He could see it... just hanging beyond his reach. He reached for it, his fingers brushing at the edge and then...

He snapped.

Near squeezed his eyes shut, curling further into a ball and mentally berating himself for not being able to recover as quickly as he would like. He knew, he understood that others went through certain types of trauma after such things as this happened to them, but he was different. He was the first successor to L. He was N, the leader of the SPK.

But the SPK was gone. No one person can operate an entire organization without those under him for assistance. What was he to do now?

He would get back to the SPK headquarters and try to contact the second L. But what good would that do? He suspected the second L of being Kira, and part of him suspected that the second Kira was angry that he didn't know his name and couldn't kill him, therefore he attacked him in hopes of tearing him down.

Near had no intentions of letting Kira win. Under no circumstances, was he going to be beaten. He had to regain control. He couldn't lose the game.

* * *

"Near, are you there? Near, please respond."

Light tried for the fifth time in the past twenty minutes to contact Near about some important new leads he and the rest of the police force had just discovered. But for some reason, no one was answering.

"I don't get it, shouldn't someone be there at all times?" Matsuda commented, looking up from the police reports he had been idly scanning through.

"Something must be wrong." Aizawa murmured.

"We have to do something!" Matsuda cried, slamming his fist on the desk and making mugs rattle.

"What _can _we do, Matsuda? We are helpless here, we don't know where the SPK headquarters are, we can't _do _anything!" Soichiro replied in frustration, hearing Light speaking in the background, once again trying to contact Near.

All at once, the screen changed and a big 'N' presented itself on the screen.

"L." The voice was Near's, and there was no voice modifier. The voice was young, feminine and sounded pained.

"Near! What's going on, we've been trying to get a hold of you for-"

"He got us."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone on the SPK task force is dead."

The Kira Task Force members all gasped in unison, straining on the edges of their seats, hanging on Near's every word.

"Are you alright?" Light murmured.

Near hesitated. "I have been... injured." His voice was quiet.

There was a loud explosion and static, a startled cry of pain and then silence.

"Near!?"

There were several seconds of silence when the stream was disconnected.

"That didn't sound good." Matsuda whimpered.

"DAMN IT!" Aizawa slammed his fist on his knee.

The screen suddenly flashed again and Near's voice rang out urgently on the other end, static making him hard to understand.

"-attack-destroyed-completely collapsed-need of assistance-"

"Near! Where are you!" Light cried into the mic.

Near quickly rattled off a location in Kanto, Japan. "HURRY!" Near's static-filled voice cried with unusual amounts of urgency before the connection failed again.

The police members were already on their feet and out the door, heading for the location Near had given.

* * *

Near groaned in pain, a heavy beam only inches from crushing him to death. He had managed to get back into the SPK headquarters with surprising ease. He should have predicted that his attacker had left the place unusable after he'd left. He had rigged Near's comm to explode when in use. A clever assailant indeed.

Near cringed, letting his head fall back against the floor, panting as the beam groaned and slid, adding to the pressure to his chest. He had been waiting for half an hour already. Perhaps the second L hadn't heard him correctly through the static. Or he simply was Kira and was purposely stalling as much as possible, hoping Near would die?

Just as Near was ready to accept his immanent death, he heard loud voices coming towards him.

"Near, where are you?" A voice called.

"Over... hear..." Near managed to gasp out, unable to see around the large beam that had collapsed over top of him.

Near felt a hand on his leg which was on the other side of the fallen beams.

"We can't get around it!" The voice told Near, muffled through the debris.

"Can't... breathe..." Was all he had to say to that.

"Matsuda, go get the car jack!" The voice yelled, and another hand clutched at his other ankle.

"Just stay calm, Near." A different voice murmured. It was deep and helped Near to calm down, taking shallow breathes as the beam groaned some more. If it came down any further, he was sure his ribs would snap under the pressure...

The beam shifted and groaned again and Near braced himself for a very, very painful death. But it never came. The beam, actually started feeling lighter. Matsuo, or Matsuda or whatever his name was obviously had come back with the car jack.

Near felt himself being pulled through, his head now directly under the beam where his torso had been just a moment before. He ducked and slid out all the way a split second before the jack gave way and the beam crushed it, along with what would have been Near's head had he not been fast enough.

Near winced in pain, clutching his aching ribs. He had never intended to meet the Kira Task Force this way. He had wanted to be in control at the time he met them. This was not control.

"Are you alright?" A kindly, concerned face looked down at him, the same deep voice that had told him to keep calm.

"I will live, thanks to you. In the meantime, I suggest we all leave before the building comes down on us." Near replied, sitting up with a little difficulty as some more debris fell from the ceiling.

"Agreed."

"Come on, everyone move out!" A young man, no older than his teens called, and Near narrowed his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but he had an aching feeling about this boy that wasn't caused by his ribs.

"Come on." The older man helped him stand and let Near lean on him as they safely exited the building and climbed into a car.

"We need to get you to a hospital." the older man was saying.

"I have a personal physician I would rather see." Near protested calmly, still clutching his side painfully.

"I must insist you see _someone _at once, Near. You could be seriously injured."

Near tipped his head to the side and studied the older man for a moment. "Soichiro Yagami?" he guessed quietly.

Soichiro gave him a startled look.

"I have all of your files committed to memory, and I'm only just now recovered enough to recognize your face." Near offered as a quiet explanation.

Soichiro nodded slowly. "Now, what exactly happened?"

Near sighed softly and began explaining all the deaths of the SPK members and the prompt arrival of a masked man. He stopped talking suddenly.

"Near, what happened after that?"

Near remained silent for a long time. "Hm. I don't care to get into that at the moment, Yagami Soichiro."

Soichiro furrowed his brow. "Alright. I still insist you get medical attention as soon as possible."

Near hid his irritation, his hand going up to play with his hair. "Very well."

**AN: So Near couldn't bring himself to admit to these guys that he was raped, will he be able to admit it to the doctor?**


End file.
